Hello All! <3
As always, I encourage you to discern any considerations I offer against your own inner knowing. We are each on our own journey of self-discovery and what resonates with one soul may not for another.
I took this past week off from writing Momtra. Actually from a lot of things that would “typically” be in my schedule or on my “to do” list. Because, I was tired. Tired as a mother ****.
And I have learned that I listen to my body. Because I have learned what happens when I don’t. I listen to the needs of my heart, mind, soul. Last week? It felt like every bit of me just needed to rest. So I did.
That is not always so easy in a culture that honors productivity over balance. Disconnects giving from receiving. Honors the martyr as the idealistic matron.
Yeah. As lovely as the notions of the never-ending well spring of giving are, it just doesn’t work that way. At least not for me.
It is better to give AND receive.
Actually when we separate the two, I have discovered that it disrupts the needed synergy. The cyclical flow of energy that propels us through life…in a manner that is balanced and sustainable.
We are all always engaged in creation. The physical manifestation of ourselves, how our days play out, how we co-create with the people and world around us. We can become increasingly aware of this…or we can just engage by default. Each day of our lives are some crazy combination of focused intent and a walking shadow meditation. The interplay of our conscious and unconscious. And that takes energy. The more we move with that current? The more energy we command.
One “thing” that I am really, really good at acknowledging in myself is my creativity. It makes me think of how women possess the amazing ability to birth. In the literal sense, yes. But also holding the energy and capacity to be creators in a mystical sense. Consider that in physical birth, mothers are an actual portal from the spiritual to the physical. Birthing life itself. It’s absolute magic. Bridging worlds. And in the process creating new ones. Creating. New. Worlds. Amazing.
When I am engaged in the awareness that I am creating, it is inspiring. Invigorating, even. And there are seasons in which that process takes more energy than others. Sometimes lots. Sometimes I do better with the replenishment of the receiving to the giving and the balance is more natural. Other times the divide between the give and receive presents in a more extreme way. In those times in which I do lots of creation, fast?…I need to rest.
Just as I am responsible as a creator of all other things in my life, I must also take responsibility to summons balance. I am choosing to set a very, very different example for my children, friends and extended family than I did just 10 years ago. I am creating a life that can serve as an example for what can be found in reciprocity. Honoring and caring for myself just as much as I honor and care for them. The only thing I desire to be a martyr to anymore, is the unraveling of all crap that convinced me that there was honor in being a martyr in the first place.
And let me tell ya’, undefining myself? It involves the hard conscious work that being “defined” never did. Yet it is the best use of my energy I have ever experienced.
Sometimes life brings that undefining in the form of new creation. Moving toward the new and away from the old. When life brings that in the form of intensity, it also brings further clarity, strength and resolve that could really come no other way than through the magnitude of the experience(s). It can happen gradually. But, sometimes? It happens fast and furious. And if you are brave…you hop on that wave and you ride it.
And then you rest.
We ease our lives in healthy or harmful ways through our perspectives.
I have just accepted over the past several years, that the true mother of all my “jobs” is to sort through the distortions as it relates to the realities in this life. To weave my discernment into my personal reality- knowing that what I do influences everything and everybody around me.
The choice to act in this manner will often be hard and sometimes not understood by others, but will always be real and yield enormous growth. And what is real cannot be denied or suppressed. Unfortunately, we have been fed such cultural distortions of self-love, self-care, love in general that we have become bitter to the “follow your heart” mindset. Yet if we learn to listen to the calls of our heart, mind and soul… and offer ourselves sufficient love and honesty, we cultivate wholeness and self-responsibility. And from that place we will honor others as holding the same capacity. Take care of yourself, okay? And I’ll take care of me. And then we are good. We are here and ready for each other when we need…and when we give.
And what a relief that is for all of us? xx
If you would like to connect for a one-on-one session as you navigate your journey of self-discovery, I would consider it my privilege and look forward to hearing from you.
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