Hello All! <3
As always, I encourage you to discern any considerations I offer against your own inner knowing. We are each on our own journey of self-discovery and what resonates with one soul may not for another.
Most moms I know have pulled “the quiet game” out of their bag of tricks at least a few times when the kiddos were still young enough to attempt it. And at the time it is always worth the attempt, even if it lasted for only a few glorious minutes. A lot of moms have even mastered the art of putting themselves in a “time-out”. Basically the mommy version of “the quiet game” for self. Usually claimed at a moment of utter exasperation and in a last ditch effort to gain self-composure before utter melt down ensues.
The pace of life we have embraced (in particular in Western culture) is mind-spinning…that is when we allow ourselves a moment to slow down enough to even process that. And in many families, the “mom” still traditionally stands center ring. Directing the crazy circus of intersecting lives and swirling circumstances and obligations. And then through our exhaustion and caffeine induced adrenal fatigue, we declare ourselves and the other circus ring leaders things like: highly productive, multi-taskers, selfless….loving…”good moms”. And while I won’t argue for a second that we are capable, amazing and loving souls, I would assert consideration that we have misplaced our value, worth…and influence. We are master ring leaders and jugglers and can even walk the high wire or stuff ourselves into the tiny car with all the other clowns when needed…but when and how did we decide for ourselves and those around us that those things are…the “good” things? When did we as individuals and a culture trade in the dream of serenity for the circus?
Somewhere along the way, the beloved “quiet games” become the “go-to” of last resort in our lives…and the “circus games” the coveted prize. But let’s face it, something deep down inside of us knows. Knows. We really, really love that “quiet game”. We reconnect with ourselves there. And in that re-connection with sit in our clarity and our greater truth.
In quiet we find presence. In presence we find peace. As we bring our awareness to our connection (or lack of) with this state, we can begin to make conscious choices about it. When we are out in the middle of the circus ring, we can’t be conscious. We just can’t. We are dealing with things as they come at us and are positioned in a state of reaction. There isn’t time to reflect when you’re so busy running the entire show.
When we decide to value quiet time (maybe the first and most important act of consciousness to break the spell of the center ring), we take a different type of control over our circus. In valuing this time of connection with ourselves…we send out a very strong message that we value who we are. That we are worthy. Instead of, by default, being at the mercy of the circumstances swirling outside of us, we can claim a priority in presence. Eventually, we discover that we can bring the calm and quiet state that fuels presence into even the most chaotic of circumstances. There is a freedom in being present to bring the energy of our truest self through to our daily experience. Our truest self is our greatest resource. Our highest clarity and integrity. We also begin to discover that not just claiming that state, but cultivating it brings perspective and calmness to any storm. And with that, we literally begin to shift the manifestation of our external reality. The circus show winds down…We trade in the three-ringed chaos. We free the elephants and we head out of the tent for greener pastures. Then this offering of peace and priority is what we bring to our experience and those around us.
Nonetheless, leaving the center ring is not for everyone. When we choose to leave our metaphorical circus, we leave our role as the frenzied ring leader in the show . There is a lot tied up in being immersed in the buzz of the show…and for some it’s just not a role they are ready to or even want to leave behind.
We feel guilty in our culture to take quiet time let alone to value or cultivate it. The shifting of our priorities and reclamation of a calmer presence and life experience doesn’t come with the same bells and whistles as the circus did. But it does come with a peace, awareness and state of connection that just couldn’t emerge inside of the chaos of that tent.
The pureness of who we are exists in silence. To know who we are, to connect with our innocence and wholeness, we have to first allow ourselves access to this inner sanctum. We have to realize its value and literally claim it as so. Incorporating it into our daily lives for ourselves and subsequently for everyone around us, including our children.
To know our ourselves, we have to allow time to feel, connect and reflect. What if we considered that our slice of heaven exists right now? Maybe we have always had access to it, we just had to choose it over the trappings of the circus.
Are you just so stinkin’ happy when a circus frees their elephants? Maybe it’s time we allowed ourselves the same.
If you would like to connect for a one-on-one session as you navigate your journey of self-discovery, I would consider it my privilege and look forward to hearing from you.
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