Hello All! <3
As always, I encourage you to discern any considerations I offer against your own inner knowing. We are each on our own journey of self-discovery and what resonates with one soul may not for another.
In today’s world I feel it would be accurate to assert that frustration has become a fairy common emotional experience for many. I would also assert that’s a good thing if we choose to use it as a barometer of sorts. Frustration is a milder form of anger, but can take on a more pervasive quality when left unchecked. Overtime, it can descend into anger, depression or a general apathy and chronic pessimism about life.
Regardless of what it is that is frustrating you, the first step in living with less frustration is ironically….feeling your frustration. And more specifically, the emotions underneath it. Taking the “high road” in frustrating situations isn’t found in a prescribed reaction, but begins first through unraveling the truth in our emotions.
- Acknowledge it fully to yourself. This may seem like a no-brainer. After all, if we are frustrated, we are the first to know, right? Yes. But often milliseconds after we are triggered, the guilt, self-judgment or reaction to stuff it can creep in. Just let yourself feel what you feel. The more you judge it (whatever it may be) the longer it takes to let it go.
- Be aware of your need for external validation. When we are frustrated, there is an underlying need that is almost always best met by both self-acknowledgement and at least some form of validation from another. When we accept this, we are able to directly ask for it from someone who can do that for us in a productive manner. We all have the friend, family member, or even a counselor who we know can hold this space for us. Otherwise, the default is we seek it in an unaware and often passive-aggressive manner. Typically we provoke others as a means to rally support for our position and shore up our need to be heard and validated (for examples, see Facebook on any given day;).
- Sit with your frustration and dig a little deeper. Underneath any frustration is a deeper core issue. Whether significant, or even just minor, any trigger of emotion is always a clue to an underlying belief we hold about ourselves. Any work we do to uncover, validate and accept these buried emotions brings us into deeper understanding of ourselves and ultimately greater wholeness. And as a bonus…reduces future episodes of frustration.
Life becomes less of a roller coaster when we can realize that what we are experiencing is separate from who we are. This or that is happening to me, I am experiencing it…but, nothing that happens around me or to me…is me. It’s my experience. But it is not me.
There is no wrong way to do this life. In being convinced that we always “know” we lock ourselves into a state of closure. Consider that even Source Creation doesn’t know “all” because creation is not yet complete. It is infinitely expanding in this very moment.
It is of extreme benefit to see the value in all experiences, even the ones that cause us frustration. If we seek the value in all of it, even the things and experiences we label as “bad”, we don’t spend our lives trying to get away from unwanted things. Instead, we can garner some aspect of wisdom from every situation. In this regard, we also don’t feel the need to consciously or unconsciously shore up our sense of worth or goodness by making other people, situations, beliefs, or behaviors bad to feel good by default. We can instead be curious and move into a desire to understand others and what is going on around us rather than succumb to assertions or defenses. Getting to the other side of situations with wisdom instead of judgments.
As we increase our consciousness around our life events, we can choose to experience events that feel undesirable to us as a means of revealing areas in which we may be leaking our personal power. We can then use this awareness of our dis-empowerment to shift toward more of what is wanted in our life versus what is what is unwanted. Instead of lamenting in our frustrations we can release them and then move to consciously asking “What am I wanting “? And then swing our focus in that direction.
Emotions, such as frustration, are flags for recognizing when things are not in alignment for us.
Ultimately we each have to assume the self-responsible for the work of bringing ourselves into our highest personal alignment. And that may not always be understood by those around us. But investing our time and energy in becoming more of ourselves…is an investment to more deeply connect with our soul essence. The more we get to know ourselves, the more we realize that the people, situations, and circumstances which frustrate us don’t set out to do so, they just fail to meet our expectation we set forth for them. Often what we perceive as being let down, blindsided, or misunderstood by these things is actually instead our own rejection of them for not living up to our own expectations.They are not failing us…they are failing to meet our expectations. Maybe it is our expectations that instead failed us and them?
In a sense, we are invoking our own frustration. It isn’t being projected on us from any external force.
That doesn’t mean we don’t have preferences or standards in life. But to get clarity on where we are at, every time it lies beneath these emotional triggers. When we meet our frustrations with curiosity, we can diffuse them much quicker. But we have to first be willing to trade in our blame for curiosity. And that takes a willingness to drop our defenses in exchange for understanding.
If you would like to connect for a one-on-one session as you navigate your journey of self-discovery, I would consider it my privilege and look forward to hearing from you.
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